Self Development is a Choice

When helping people through their self development; if I had a dirham for every time I’ve heard…“the fact is, I’m over (insert age) and I have to figure out how to start again…” I would be very rich indeed. For one reason or another, people feel like they don’t have a choice when, in reality, that’s all they really have.

So I want to share three things that I choose to do, during my own self development, that really helps to jump-start me and move me beyond my situational “funk”.

Before I share, I want to say that the amount of worry, stress, and fear I’ve seen in people is what makes me want to help them through the process of grieving what has passed, clearing the fear of what may be, and moving-on to create a new vision and see a new future; one that they can focus on and get excited about.

All my life I’ve been interested in trying to help people, in self development and high performance, and in learning ways to create one’s own destiny. However, it wasn’t until I turned 38 that I began to gain clarity in those areas as it relates to my own “vision” and “purpose” and that was because I was forced – through circumstances out of my control – into looking at my life as it stood. It then wasn’t until I was 42 and forced into another circumstance out of my control – forced to become a single mummy – that I really took a grip of my new direction and allowed it to manifest. So sometimes, and definitely in my case, that push into having to start a new life is a blessing in disguise. Age really doesn’t make the slightest difference in this: I’ve seen and helped 30 year olds, 40 year olds, 50 year olds and 60 year olds start anew – its attitude that counts.

Today I look at my “start-over” with incredible gratitude and am quite thankful for this unanticipated and “forced” opportunity.

So here are three things that I personally did that really helped to jump start me to move beyond my situational “funk” – maybe they will be helpful to you as well.

Choose to Accomplish One thing

I decided to accomplish one thing (in a reasonably short amount of time) that felt utterly impossible. For me, this was jumping into this Life Coaching career full time, leaving my old, comfortable, fairly well paid, but staid career behind, knowing that only 8% of people survive full time in this career but still believing that this risk would pay off and bring me far greater purpose in life as well as help me support myself and my two kids. And all this I was jumping into with no savings of my own, no money behind me and no financial support network to assist me.
Obviously, your choice doesn’t have to be as drastic as throwing in your career for a new one. There are many more challenges out there that you can start with – swim the Channel, jump out of a plane, climb a mountain, win a pageant, to name but a few that my clients have already accomplished – it just has to be one goal that seems impossible to you at the moment.

Choose Your Top 20 Values

I made sure I knew what my top 20 life values were and I started looking for people who appeared to live life as an example of the life I wanted to live and who shared these values. Most people I see can tell me five values at the most but past that have no idea what other values they are living or indeed want to live by. All my clients say this is the most ground-breaking work they do with me. As the saying goes you are the sum of the five people who surround you. I made sure the people around me – colleagues, associates, friends, relatives – shared my passion for life and my integrity to live it. This meant a small clear out of people in my life but that left space in my life for the new people to come in.

Choose To Be Scared

Finally, I allowed myself to be vulnerable and scared and move past the fear. There would have been many possible “what if” moments had I allowed them to take hold, but I I didn’t. I had

None of these steps are easy to achieve in your own. A non-biased, non-judgmental, trained professional is often the best investment you can make to help you make that step into your new life. If you’re struggling with emotions, fears or anxieties of what you’re leaving behind to where you’re moving into please get in touch, I’m here to help. Now is the time to lean into your authentic self … and now is the time to be you, fearlessly. One Life Coaching can help get you to where you want to be.